The Fad Diet Diaries #1: Protein World

We now live in a culture where if we’re told we need to lose a few lbs, our instant reaction is “which company promises the most believable ‘skinny dream’ and deserves my money?”.

Gone is the rational ability to recognise that all we need to do to look after ourselves is to eat well and exercise more, and in it’s place lies our belief that the most expensive diet plan will make us thinner quicker.

It’s part and parcel of the world we live in, where impatience rules and clever advertising makes us assume money really will buy you happiness. Our diet and our health have fallen into the trap of our modern day thinking.

I’ve had many ups and downs with my weight during my lifetime, and have bought into a fair few of the quick fixes which vowed to make me thin with little effort. Due to this, The Fad Diet Diaries has been born, where I will document my experiences.

The first fad diet, by blog choosing rather than real life chronological order, is Protein World. You know, the one who’s utterly ridiculous ‘beach body’ advert made the world go fucking mental.

A few years ago, Protein World seemed to burst out of nowhere and managed to spread their reach by endorsing almost every person that had ever been in a reality TV show to share their miracle weight loss product on Instagram. You couldn’t open social media without seeing someone somewhere buying into the hype. And buying into the hype is where I found myself, when I handed over my card details in exchange for their ‘premium weight loss package’.

I received a humongous tub of their Slender Blend powder, in vanilla as I’d chosen, a shaker, some tablets to suppress hunger, and some tablets promising to burn that fat right off me. I was instructed to drink the shakes in the place of two meals every day, and to make my third meal something healthy to round off the day.

I can distinctly remember the effects the fat burners had on me. I don’t think I’ve ever sweated so much in my life. Whilst sat at my desk at work, I’d have sweat pissing from every pore on my body, I had the shakes, my heart felt like it was beating too fast, and my stomach churned. I felt bloody awful. “Burning loads of fat though, ent I?” I proudly declared through internal howling.

On first sip, the shakes were pleasant enough. I don’t even like milkshake, but I got involved with Protein World because I wanted to be thin, thin beyond my wildest dreams! I sucked it up, swallowed it down, and ignored the consequences.

That bit about me not liking milkshake? I also have a really sensitive gag reflex in the morning. Nothing starts your day better than heaving through a thick creamy liquid before the sweat and shakes of the fat burners kick in. “I feel fantastic!” I lied, quietly desperate for something to chew on.

The worst part of the vanilla shakes is how your body really does absorb that flavour when there’s no other flavour going in. It absorbs it, and it kicks it right back out again, via the back end.

Farting.

Farts which smell like vanilla shake.

Farts which smell like vanilla shake, while you’re heaving through a vanilla shake in the morning, whilst trying to ignore the fact that your farts smell like what you are putting in your mouth and trying to swallow at the same time.

You might not have the same experience, I’m sure taking on this routine when I have IBS added even more “the fuck you doin’?” to my situation. But honestly. That smell and that taste became unbearable.

Towards the end of my ability to stomach it any further, I took a shake into work to have for lunch. Being the dickhead I am, I took it in a thermos flask rather than my designated shaker, and when I tried to combine powder with milk it looked like someone had eaten a box of chalk and thrown it back up into the vessel carrying my lunch.

No, I did not chow down on that.

I lasted about two weeks on the liquid shakes with the physical shakes the package caused. In that time I was also exercising as often as I could stand up long enough for, as I constantly felt like I was going to pass out due to my body being empty.

Total weight lost: 7lbs

Not bad for two weeks of feeling like absolute shit. Guess how long that weight stayed off for? About half an hour, because eating a normal amount of food makes the lbs pile back on after putting your body into a malnourished state of shock like that.

Do I recommend Protein World: Lol no

Would I do it again: Not even if you paid me and gave me a spare bowel

57 thoughts on “The Fad Diet Diaries #1: Protein World

    1. I really wouldn’t recommend it! I’ve realised in growing up that there’s no such quick fix, which is a real shame when I’d love to eat pizza every day 😦 x

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  1. Oh, man. That sounds so nasty. I need to get back on track (starting tomorrow) with clean eating and activity. No gimmicks, just real food, and exercise.

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  2. I have to admit I’m not a fan of the shakes these people put into diet plans they always taste odd. It really doesn’t sound like this diet did your body any good at all, I’ll stay away!

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  3. I have used Protein World products before but more for muscle growth, than weight loss. They have worked for me but I have heard not so good things about the weightloss products

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  4. It is crazy that all it can take better care of ourselves and eat healthily and get regular exercise to maintain a good body weight. I don’t use weight loss products or protein products I just eat healthily and have started loosing my baby fat.

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  5. I tried the protein shakes in the past and while they kept me feeling fuller longer, they tasted nasty. No matter how many flavors or brands I tried, I just could never get used to the taste, plus they are very expensive.

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  6. I want to lose weight, too. And I’ve tried fad diets. What I learned is that there is no such thing as losing weight fast. Our bodies took time to gather up the extra weight so it will also take time to shed it. Its really about lifestyle change 🙂

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  7. This made me laugh so much! I’ve been using protein world for a while, the vegan vanilla shake is an acquired taste and now I have one once every couple of weeks, and the fat burning tablets have gone in the bin! I don’t think I could manage two shakes a day for a fortnight as you did! I do really enjoy their pancakes and syrup though!

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  8. The best and the most healthy way to lose weight is to have a balanced diet and exercise regularly. Protein world has pros and cons; however, I’m not in favour of it. Actually, thanks for your sharing experience!

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  9. I’m so sick of all these diets that promise magical results, like you (so humourously) put it they are just horrible. I’ve just written a piece on ditching the diets and intuitive eating that’s going out next month along a similar vein, but I think I love your account more! haha

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    1. Absolutely! I tried and tested so many fad diets in my younger years, none of them work and I have learned how ridiculous they are with age!

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  10. I love how candor you are about it all!! But i have to disagree with you while i never tired protein world I do now drinks protein shakes as my breakfast meal replacement and it has helped me loose weight and keep it off. Obviously I general have made better eating decisions and you have to upkeep them. You can expect to loose a shit ton of weight and when itys off go back to eating unhealhty it defeats the point, which I wish more people would get real about. Instead of making drastic changes that they can only up keep for like a month why not make small health changes you can do forever.. like not eating sode, or cutting down on sugar.

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    1. It works for some people, it didn’t work for me! My point here is that people easily buy into the false promises of being able to get thin over night if they pay for it, without any food education on what is actually good for your body. I was one of those people who was desperate to drop lbs and thought all I had to do was what the adverts were telling me, but I know that isn’t true! I’m sharing my experiences of fad diets to highlight that doing those alone isn’t healthy.

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  11. There is a big downside of these diets being that when you stop the weight piles on again. It’s best to control diet and exercise, which I would not do. LOL. It’s great to know though that it is not worth doing. Thanks.

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  12. There is a big downside of these diets being that when you stop the weight piles on again. It’s best to control diet and exercise, which I would not do. LOL. It’s great to know though that it is not worth doing. Thanks.

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  13. Haha the vanilla shake farts cracked me up so bad!
    Sadly, been a part of a few fad diets and literally gained the weight back on one cheat day ( had a bag of doritos lol).
    Its all in eating healthy and working out x

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  14. Thanks for this post.. I’ve been reading a lot about diet programs and gaining lean muscles too. This protein shakes seems interesting hahaha, but I might need to check further reviews about it.

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  15. I laughed all the way through reading your post. Sadly, gaining weight is easy but, losing it is hard work. The real solution is exercise, eating less and getting rest. Sounds easy but it takes vigilance and commitment. I hear you!

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